eleanor shifted already la !
ranaway @ blogspot
n or *p eeg smiled at 23:33
i hate you.
i hate you for saying those words.
i hate you for not being grateful.
i hate you for not being appreciative.
i hate you for not even saying a thank you.
i hate you for not apologising.
i hate you for not think before you act.
i hate you for you've not said those words to me before.
i hate you for making me so upset.
i hate you for making me cry like a f*ck idiot.
i hate you for making me feel so stupid.
i hate you for making me seem like an idiot.
i hate you for hurting my feelings.
i hate you for crashing my hopes.
i hate you for being nice when you're not.
i hate you for bickering with me.
i hate you for everything.
n or *p eeg smiled at 15:02
it's been more than a month !
haha, and i won't be here for the next 1 and a half months !
those who know, yes, Os are just in 21 days and counting.
WISH ME LUCK ! quick !
lol.
all i have to do is mug mug mug and do my best !
even if i don't get in SAJC, i HAVE TO get into NGEE ANN BUSINESS STUDIES !
entrepreneurship ! i'm coming !
lol.
STUDY STUDY STUDY !
TOP PRIORITY !
yes, no one's gonna make me fall.
after the 23rd of nov, 1545 hour.
I'M FREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
freedom = study + finish exams + get good results
i can do it !
haha, i'm talking to myself, but it's ok.
and all those out there having Os in 21 days and counting.
GOOD LUCK ! and DO YOUR BEST !
have the determination and motivation.
WORK TOWARDS YOUR DREAMS !
(=
I'M OFF FROM HERE !
see you in 21days + 23days = 44 days time !
haha. :D
I MISS THESE PEOPLE LA:
DEX
CARRIE
EUGENE
TIMMY
FEIMAO
MISS soonQY
BJ
IVY
FELICIA
HUIWEN
JOANNA
PEISHAN, DIANA, JASMINE CANNOT MISS, EVERYDAY IN SCHOOL ALSO SEE THEM. :D
GINNY
CHASE
JACIEL
TERRY
RYAN
VERONICA
THUNDER
CHERMAINE TAN LI LING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and many more PLEASE.
MEET UP SOON PEOPLE !
(=
n or *p eeg smiled at 13:15
starting to live in my own world...
...is fun.
though i know it's a selfish act.
but i have no choice.
i can't tolerate attitudes and all anymore.
i won't give in anymore, not anymore.
i won't take the blames, NONE !
i will NOT let anyone step on my anymore, ever again.
you like it or not, i don't care.
because i'm living in a world on my own.
and i'm better off this way.
yeah... call me selfish, call me names.
i can't bother anymore, not anymore, never again.
living in a world of my own, i fear no rejection from you.
n or *p eeg smiled at 15:02
when you knew me, i was like a 3-year-old kid.
when i knew you, you seem like a mature adult.
but when you left me, i fell and seemed like an infant.
dependent on others to help me, as i couldn't stand on my own.
and when you left me, you are still the same.
you left me lying so lonely and lost.
however, during this period, i grew, i grew up.
from a 3-year-old to an infant to a 16-year-old teenager.
a teenager with brains, brains which function really well.
brains which tells me what's good and what's bad.
brains which tells me what i've wasted my time on.
and as time goes by, i seem to be older and older.
but you, you seem to be like a child.
it seems like we've switched our positions.
YES, i see you as a KID, not even a 3-year-old kid.
all your thinkings, all you actions, all of your everything.
are all so CHIDLISH, pardon me for saying this.
BUT IT'S THE FACT.
i've to thank you, really thank you.
for allowing me to grow up, and know what's wrong and right.
allowing me to mature so much, allowing me to cherish life.
i THANK YOU !
however it's sad, because i pity YOU.
i don't know if you'll ever grow up, of course i wish you would.
but you've to depend on yourself, pick up your broken pieces yourself.
stand on your own, solve your own problems.
be an adult, be who you are, and not the chidlish, immature you.
thank you, for allowing me, to grow up.
n or *p eeg smiled at 00:51
I REFUSE !
I REFUSE !
I REFUSE !
SIMPLY REFUSE TO !
n or *p eeg smiled at 12:15
The Is about you.
i don't wish to be hating someone i once loved dearly.
i don't want us to become strangers.
i can't help feeling this way.
i hate the way you treat me.
i hate the way you think about me sometimes.
i really hate your immaturity.
i can't stand the way you make it seem like it's all MY fault.
i don't want to feel lonely when you're out there somewhere.
i want to forget you, i really want to.
i am too tired, too tired to hang on anymore.
i really need your help in forgetting you.
i need you to just get out of my life.
i guess it's the other way round.
i guess i should get out of your life instead.
i should just get my ass off from your memory.
i just want you to be happy.
i just want you to appreciate what i've done for you all these while.
i don't understand, why do you not feel this way.
i don't want to be living in fear of offending you.
i don't see why i should fear you at all.
i have never done you any wrong.
i took all the blames when you pushed it to me.
i took it all, but have you ever appreciated what i did.
i have never blamed you for anything.
i kept it all inside of me.
i had to keep it all to myself because i fear so much to offend you.
i really wished you could understand my position instead.
i wished you could give in to me, just ONCE is enough.
i hate to be trampled all over by you.
i don't wish to shed anymore tears for you.
i want to stop the pain, the pain of you not appreciating.
i know you said you appreciated, but i don't see it or feel it.
i only hear it, over and over again, but no actions was taken.
i just feel that i don't have a stand in your life at all.
i can never voice out how i feel because i know i would be blamed.
i am really exhausted and want to go to sleep.
i know you have your work, girlfriend and friends to worry about.
i have more than you do, but i still give care and concern to you.
i just wish you could give 0.01% of your time to me, but hell NO.
i just want that 0.01% of your time, but it's all so difficult.
i don't even see, feel, or hear about your concern.
i want to know it from you, if you're really concerned.
i don't want anyone to tell me anything.
i am not really gonna care if you see this.
i just can't hide my feelings anymore.
i can write anything i want to, it's my blog.
i didn't mention names, so don't assume.
i am talking about YOU, but i still think assumptions shouldn't be made.
i just want to spit out all the feelings kept within me for these 2 years.
i don't want to hide anymore because i know you don't care.
i know you don't like things to be blogged about you.
i didn't say who was i talk about, so why are you being so sensitive?
i know you hate it just because of your reputation, and you know what.
i think you don't even have a reputation.
GO AHEAD, GIVE ME A DRESSING-DOWN WHEN YOU SEE OR HEAR ABOUT THIS.
I AM ALL PREPARED !
I WOULD FEEL NOTHING BECAUSE I AM TOO USED TO IT.
SCOLD ME IF YOU WANT, LECTURE ME IF YOU NEED TO.
BUT I KNOW IS THAT ALL I HAVE WRITTEN, ARE NOT LIES.
IF YOU STILL HAVE YOUR CONSCIENCE, I HOPE IT KNOCKS SOME SENSE INTO YOU.
IF YOU FEEL THAT I HAVE DONE ANY WRONG, TELL ME !
JUST SO PREPARED !
I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY.
AND KAYPOS OUT THERE
I DON'T NEED YOU
TO DELIVER THE MESSAGE
TO WHOEVER I AM TALKING ABOUT !
JUST SHUT
YOUR BIG FAT MOUTHS !
I DON'T NEED
A MESSENGER !
n or *p eeg smiled at 02:15
SUPER CROSSED !
I HATE HER !
don't assume !
don't make wild guesses.
HER is not who you think she is.
i really fear my words would offend you, and you know i HATE to quarrel with you.
n or *p eeg smiled at 23:51
well well, it's that silly boy's birthday.
heh heh, haven't wished her though.
grins.
waiting for the auspicious time to arrive.
laughs.
well, it's my own way of wishing that silly "HAPPY BIRTHDAY !"
finally, ***'s of legal age to smoke, drink and club.
hmm, i truly hope you will mature after this birthday.
and i really really hope you won't misinterpret my words.
think before you say anything, cos' i want to see a grown up you.
though this birthday, you've someone special by your side to celebrate with you.
i won't forget, and never will i forget your birthday.
HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY !
hugss tight, much love !
i don't know if you'll see this, but well, i hope what i've said does make sense.
i wished i could... spend your eighteen birthday with you ...but i can't.
n or *p eeg smiled at 00:00
this is going to be so upsetting.
sigh.
i still can't believe it, can't accept the fact.
i've got a
well, there's this feeling in me which i can't use words to express.
it's really SOUR.
my teacher said. "i think you're the only one who deproved, the rest are almost a grade or two higher."
sigh, so upsetting and hurting.
but who to blame other than myself.
guess i've got to retake that stupid chinese and face chinese books, AGAIN.
-sulks
i really wanted to share my sorrows with you.
but upon thinking what would your reaction be, i stopped pondering.
i told myself, there's no point.
i really hoped you were there when i got my results.
but, you weren't there, at all.
and i don't have enough courage to call for you.
sigh.
i wonder if you can feel my sadness. ):
n or *p eeg smiled at 12:15
till today, my heart still skips a beat for you.
blood still rush down my face when i see you.
words are stammered as i talk to you.
that shyness i have for you, still exist.
nothing has changed since the day you left.
my love, my care, my concern.
it's still all the same since day one.
and nothing will change, was what i promised you.
i won't go back on my words no matter what happens.
because having you to smile is something i would like to see everyday.
me, knowing that you're fine and happy, makes my heart contented.
in short, all of your happiness, is mine.
but i would hate to see you in a daze.
staring into space, allowing wild thoughts to run through your mind.
it hurts my heart to see you this way.
because i once promised that i would take the tears and you take the smile.
it doesn't matter if you return my love.
as long as you understand and appreciate all that i've done.
i'm already thankful to have you feeling that way.
thankful to God for sending such an understanding person to me.
i just want to let you know that i'll be here, always.
a shoulder for you when your tears fall.
an listening ear when you need to complain.
a heart to for you when you need love.
my love for you since the day we met, has always been a hundred percent, nothing less.
n or *p eeg smiled at 21:51
can someone tell me "WHY is iy ALWAYS ME?"
why is it a good person is always being referred as a bad one?
it isn't about unfairness.
just that the phrase "your kindness will be repaid" doesn't seem to be true.
i think the bad person is being repaid instead of the good.
SOMEONE, enlighten me PLEASE !
feeling so lost, don't know what should i do.
so many things are slipping out of my hands, bit by bit as years passed.
the significant other, friends(incuding peers), family, studies...
aren't these things the most important part of life?
hah, tell me about it.
i myself don't even know if i'm the good or the bad person.
i'm putting in effort, yet the others are making it seem like the fault lies with ME.
it seems like i should be the one taking all the resposibilities.
yes, i am the bad one.
the villain who caused all these.
whatever it is, i guess i brought all these upon myself.
who wants to be the bad guys at the end of the day right?
pushing the blame to someone else, who won't do it anyway?
but it's fine with me, as long as the others are happy.
and i'm NOT trying to make it sound as if i'm so noble(i'm not !).
in actual fact, i DO NOT have to torlerate with all these crap.
but i'm STUPID what, ain't i?
i'm the BAD guy, isn't it?
and am i taken for granted?
i don't know, i don't want to know, i don't wish to know.
feigning happiness isn't what i want to do.
why do i have to show you people i'm fine?
just because i don't want you people to think i'm childish.
throwing tantrums over a minor issue.
i don't wish to make it seem like you people are the bad guys.
it doesn't really matter alot anymore, it's gone it's gone.
and i knew that right from the start, it ain't gonna last at all.
if i could, i would.
but i can't, God gave us a memories.
let us just leave it as memories, alright?
you ain't here to tell me it's alright, sigh.
n or *p eeg smiled at 15:12
i wonder when will you ever be mature.
your thinking is still so small.
i know i have no right at all.
but i still see you as a kid.
can't you be more understanding.
can't you open your mind wide to think carefully.
can't you just think twice before you act.
don't you know your words can hurt someone.
a reminder is a reminder.
telling you what to do is commanding you.
can't you differentiate the two.
it was only a reminder not a command.
your immaturity really turns me off.
i really don't know when you will ever grow up.
when will your mind think the age you are.
it's so disappointing to see you this way.
i really HATE seeing you this way.
i want to help but i really don't know how to.
i don't want to see you being immature.
i want to see the grown up you.
whatever it is i hope you will realise all these soon.
and if you think i am taking a dig at you i am NOT.
and i won't because i know when to and when not to.
i really hope you will grow up and the sooner the better.
sigh, i don't know what i want from you anymore.
but one thing for sure i still love you.
n or *p eeg smiled at 02:15
thedayyouare________.
thatiswheniwillforgetyou.
thepromisesithatmadetoyou.
willALWAYSbekeptclosetomyheart.
thisipromiseyou.
you put a curve on my smile.
n or *p eeg smiled at 21:51
been wondering so much lately.
been dreaming(like always) so much.
don't even know how are you doing.
don't even know if you're fine.
sometimes the words i say about may be harsh and cruel.
but, you know that i don't mean it.
all because is i care for you.
i do want you to be fine and happy.
wrote out the lyrics of "Fixing a Broken Heart".
i wonder if this song still means something in your heart.
'cause it still does, to me.
and it always has and always will.
'cause here in my heart
there's a picture of us together forever
unfaded n unbroken
wherever you go your love covers me
forever more you'll be here in my heart
you still mean alot to me.
n or *p eeg smiled at 02:15